Sunday, February 13, 2011

Lingering D

Still feeling lost. Inadequate. Helpless. Wanting. Desperate. Tired. Scared. Unhappy. I want to feel secure and safe; financially and emotionally. Not just for me but for my parents. My husband. My kids. And the other people in the world that deserve to be better off in some way. I want to make people happy by providing one wish from their wish list. I want to be a giver but that feels impossible when you feel like you are barely treading water.

Don't get me wrong I have moments when I look at my kids and feel like the luckiest person in the world but it never lasts. It is a feeling that comes and goes quicker than the wind. Its there around me but unobtainable. I never can hold on to it long enough to enjoy my family. Change needs to happen...only time will tell.

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