Past Stories: Movin' On Up...

Note: Written in past tense - January 2009. We did it. We finally closed on a house. A house that will hopefully be ours for many years to come. It is a perfect place to raise the kids. It is 3150 sqft of living space with an all-season sunroom. Pool. Area for half-court basketball. Spa. Master suite. And a park across the street with tennis courts, horseshoe pits, 2 playgrounds, huge grass area, and a shaded picnic area. I hope that the kids are happy with the new house. Keven is having a hard time leaving the old house but I know he will come to love this house once he starts making some good memories. I am so excited. Thank you for everyone that helped us with this huge change. As Keven has said, "It's Ok home is where the heart is". Update: I still love our house. There are mornings in the shower where I still feel amazed that this house is ours.

Past Stories: Uncle Mike's Letter

Note: Written quickly in May 2009 so it could be sent to him before he died. I am so grateful his girlfriend Chris was able to read it to him while he was still awake.

Dear Uncle Mike,

First of all, I am so happy to hear about your new life with Chris. She sounds like a very nice and compassionate person. On the other hand, I am so sorry to hear about your health issues. I hope you are able to recover and live life feeling content with Chris.

My life has definitely been heading in the right direction. After having some difficultly conceiving Isabel, she was born May 25, 2006. Prior to having her, I was diagnosed as being pre-diabetic due to my weight and lack of exercise. I postponed losing weight since I knew I wanted to get pregnant again. You know me I never like doing the hard stuff twice, example losing a lot of weight. After I had Isabel, my family felt complete so I was able to focus on my well-being; physically and mentally. By the time Isabel was 9 months old, I had lost 40 pounds. Once I reached 127 pounds, I dove into the soccer world again.

So for the last 2 years, I have been playing soccer 2-5 times a week. There is about a group of 50 people that I see on a regular basis due to soccer. Some days we are on the same team and some days we are on different teams. It all depends on what team I am playing for since I am on a few at any given time. As you know soccer is the sport I love to play. Remember watching me when I was little?

Steve and I finally decided to get married April 12, 2007. As you know I was never going to be big on the whole wedding day fiasco. We got married during lunch at the county clerks office for $140. My type of wedding! Along with Steve, I inherited a stepson, Austin. He is 13 yrs old with a birthday coming soon on June 16. Yes, that is a day after mine. He is a wonderful big brother. Keven and Isabel love him so much. He is so protective of them when we are out and about. However, at home he is the typical lazy teenager. For outside activities, he participates in wrestling, shot-put and band. This year, he will be heading to high school. The same high school I attended years ago.

Keven, my kindergartner, is my loving little Casanova. At his young age of 6, he is excelling in the art of sweet talking. Besides sweet talking his parents and grandparents, he sweet talks his teachers and my friends. Everyday, he wants to snuggle, hug and kiss. Everyday, he says I love you, mom. Most days, he wants to open my door, put my seatbelt on, get a thank you kiss on the cheek and then close my door. However, this little Casanova is sneak-yyyyyy.

He also excels at the art of bargaining, manipulating and compromising. To tell you the truth, I am a little scared of his attributes. Who knows what he may swindle out of me as I get older. Here are a few quotes from my darling little Keven:

*"Mom, you know why I follow you around all the time? Because my heart grows bigger every time I see you."
*"Mom, you are so stinkin' cute."
*"Mom, you know why I want to sleep with you? Because I love you so much."
*"Mom, you know what time it is?...It is snuggle time!…..Let's snuggle cutie patootie."
*"What do you want to watch, mom? We can watch whatever you want because I love you so much."
*"Mom, tell Jennifer (my best friend) that I picked out the necklace for her."….."Jennifer, do you know why I picked that necklace out for you? So you will never forget me."

Keven is the kid that wants to play every sport. Very soon, he will have to pick his favorites to participate in during the years. But for now, he is on the swim team for his 3rd year which started April 6th and will end mid July. Right now, he is playing T-ball for his 2nd year. And starting in August, he will be playing soccer for his 3rd year. For a short time, he tried gymnastics and karate. I see him giving karate another go in the future. But I do not want to enroll him until he is 8 or so. It is a big commitment all year around. I am hoping to introduce him to music, football, basketball, and wrestling soon. Only time will tell the activities he truly will enjoy.

Isabel, my teenage toddler, is my loving but stubborn little princess. At the age of 2, almost 3, she is already a pro at blatantly ignoring me, whimpering for sympathy, and knowing exactly what it takes to irritate her brother, Keven. On top of the great attributes she has mastered, Isabel thrives on little sleep. She dropped her 2nd nap at 9 months and the entire nap time routine at about 2 and a half. Where Keven was just dropping his 2nd nap at 2 and a half. Despite all her antics, she is the cutest little girl ever.

Here are a few zingers from Isabel:

*The week before last Thanksgiving Isabel gave herself a haircut. She managed to cut all her bangs off. And she managed to leave a bald spot on the top of her head. We had to live with a short comb over bob for awhile. Yes, it made me cry.
*As she is reading with grandma, Keven is competing for attention. "Keven stop bothering me. No stop bothering us."
*Referring to fudge we gave grandma on Mother's Day. "Grandma that is yours, I mean ours."
*She tries to tell Keven how to make a turkey sandwich the right way. She is a smarty pants and of course Keven wants to do it his own way.

They may be completely different but I am so lucky and blessed to have these two as my children. Having them is truly heaven on earth. And I am so fortunate that my parents babysit them while we work. Keven and Isabel love my mom and dad so so so much. Besides seeing them about 5 days a week, they spend the night about once a week. I love observing the relationship my kids have with their grandparents on a daily basis.

At the beginning of the year, I dearly hope we made the last move into our family house. The house that Keven and Isabel will live out their childhood until they go off to college. We live in a great neighborhood across from a secluded park that has a huge grass area, two horse shoe pits, two playgrounds and two re-paved tennis courts.

I don't know exactly why you turned against your own son in his time of need. It may have been to protect the relationship you have/had with Christina. We all have choices we regret but reconciliation can help heal the hurt. Despite all the short-comings in your lifetime, I want you to know you were a great uncle. I hope Michael can reconcile with you before it is too late. I would hate for him to live with the regret. We have this one lifetime with our friends and family. The time at the Dittmar house seems so long ago but the memories are as clear as ever. I do miss those wonderful and happy times.

Thank you for the warmth and love I always felt at the Parra household on Dittmar. Thank you for making me feel safe and comfortable in your house. Thank you for the cherished childhood memories I have of our time together. Thank you for going out of your way to make me happy with the little things; tamales and mexican bread. And thank you for making me happy with the big things; Rose Parades, shopping, watching my soccer games, and driving to and from airports, train stations (remember that dumb and dumber toilet moment from Grandma Molly's house), Sacramento, and San Luis Obispo.

Love you always,

Your favorite niece, Jennifer

PS…I have sent you a few photos. A short description is on the back.

The End of a Life

My friends father passed away early this morning at the age of 61. This scares me beyond belief since Steve is 57 even though my friends father had Type 1 diabetes for 30 years. Not only was he diabetic but he was stubborn enough not to change his way of life. However, my fear is always there like being surrounded by a light fog. RIP Mr. Y. On October 14th, 2008, my mil passed away at 5:15 pm. In that one moment material things are meaningless...the affectionate touch of your children is all that matters. My heart broke for my husband. He would never see her again in this lifetime. Thinking about what that means to me with my parents is heartbreaking. I need my mom and dad. I love my mom and dad. Time will never heal his heart for the loss of his dad and now his mom but time will make it less intense...I hope. Marg, thanks for the laughs on thursday 10/9/08. In the end you got your one bite of a taco bell taco shell with salsa. I will remember those 2 hours of talking and laughing forever.

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - Who's your favorite?-

Disclaimer: Writing in present tense 2 years ago.

Mama! My daddys girl has officially morphed into a mamas girl. It has been emotionally rough for about 14 months now, feeling unwanted, unneeded, unloved. My daughter greeted her dada like he was a rock n' roll star. She was that hootin' and howlin' girl that bellowed his name out numerous times with a big smile and cute squeals of delight and happiness. Me...I was the roadblock that stood in her way...she actually had to veer around me....which at least got me a glance.

Now, I am the ONE. The ONE that she wants. I must be within sight range of me or else she goes searching for me. We lay down together. We eat dinner together. We read books together. We go potty together. And we hold hands as we walk. Together actually means ((((thisclose)))). This time around I am taking it all in stride. She is my last baby and I am cherishing the closeness. Even if potty time, shower time, and eating time are a little less relaxing. I love you, Isabel.

Update: It has been like this for 2 years! Mama Mia...

Finally....I can say to the kids

"Yes, honey. You can go swimming today."

In fact, you can swim five days a week for the next 14 weeks. Swim Team Rocks!

Furloughs might end after 2 years...

I can not believe it has been 2 years and 2 months since we have been furloughed not only 2 days but 3. At the time, my question was - What are we going to do? It is amazing how one copes with uncontrolled situations. Who knew we would be paying a mortgage that has doubled since the last house AND take a $1500 pay cut.

The first year was easier to stomach since we had money left over from the sale of our house. I appreciated and thanked God for our lucky mishap. Some how, our loan officer did not apply our total house profit to the new loan even though I had mentioned it a few times. That was definitely a blessing in disguise. After one year, did I expect to receive all 3 days back? HECK NO!!! But I did expect ONE not NONE.

The second year was much harder and more depressing using the freakin' credit cards. Steve's consulting job definitely helped a bit. Here is hoping to getting the credit cards paid off by the end of the year.

On the bright side, we accrued vacation hours and spent more time as a family.

I hope to retain an 85% schedule. It was my initial goal after having the kids.

Past Stories: Where are my children?

Note: Written in past tense - August 2008. Near There. Or near there. Or maybe near there. All I know is that they are on the road with my parents heading to LA for a 4 day/3 night vacation. Bittersweet. Scared until they return safely in my arms and happy to spend a few days with the husband. Whether we are working on the house, eating dinner, watching TV or going to the bathroom - we will get to do it in peace and quiet. Wait a second....phone is ringing....Merced. They are leaving Merced. So far so good. They are happy and healthy as of 2 minutes ago. And in those two minutes the fear of tragedy has returned. Here are a few ideas I gave my parents: keep lane changing to a minumum, drive the speed limit, and call every hour or so. Of course, it is a bit much but you have my "double dose of happiness" in your hands. My goal is to enjoy the quietness of the house.

Family Quirks

Here are 10 quirky things that many people may not know about the family....

1. The husband is 21 years older than me. I am one lucky person. He loves me for me. He cooks. Loads the dishwasher. Washes his own clothes. Lets me sleep in on Saturdays. And gives me back rubs.

2. I rarely cook dinner for the family. Between him and my mother, all the criticism has left me a bit jittery in the kitchen. At the utterance of a word, I will automatically conclude that I am doing something wrong. Wrong Pan. Wrong Utensil. Wrong Setting. Wrong Sized Porportions. And the list goes on and on. But believe me when I say... cooking 10% of the time works for me.

3. My OCD will leave me anxious somedays. To the point, I will not want to leave the house.

4. I am a Type A personality. Feeling organized is a great feeling.

5. My parents live within miles of me. My kids love their grandparents. I would not change a thing.

6. I secretly hope to find a group of life long friends that hang out together for games, small chit-chat, dinner, and sleepovers.

7. I am an only child that wishes I had a sister or brother. I was 9 years old banging at my parents bedroom door yelling, "I really want a sister or brother. Please can I have one." In reply, I hear from my parents "(giggling) We are trying to give you one." To which I begun begging, "Please, I'm serious. I really really want a sister or brother. Why can't I have one?"

8. Spent my summers with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

9. I went to a private school from 5th to 8th grade.

10. Got married for about $140. Perfect in my eyes.

Past Stories: Throwing My Back Out

Note: Written in past tense - January 2009. In honor of my broken leg, I will reminisce about the last time I held the position...family supervisor. Or we could say my back is throwing me out of the moving game!!! I am officially done with lifting boxes for the next few days. This is just a perfect way to start off the year. For the record, Steve, my dear husband needs to take my answer to his question seriously. No means no. Not yes. "Can you lift the dryer one more time?"...uh..."No, I think I pulled something." "Yes, you can just one more time. Lift with the knees. I just need your help one more time." "Fine." Of course, as I lifted a short quick pain shot through my back...I had graduated from a minor pull to a state of uselessness. And believe when I say the ceiling is quite boring to stare at for hours on end...but the good news is I am no longer floor bound. My couch is quite comfy if I do not move... On the bright side, I was promoted to lazy supervisor...point and direct. That should teach my husband the meaning of NO.

Don't Break A Leg...

Ok...if you need to at least try for a mid to proximal fibula break. Apparently, this is the million dollar break such as the million dollar wound. And we all know, I was dying to win the lottery. So in the midst of admiring my goal (a mental snapshot of the ball hitting the net) the 6 ft, 200 + lb goalie finished his slide-tackle by bull- dozing my right leg. In 3 weeks, my fancy custom made black cast will be removed. ***************************************************************************** Just think, June 3, 2008 I was so thankful that it was not my leg that had a broken tibia and fibula. Don't break a leg! A widely known phrase for good luck on broadway but definitely not good to use before adult soccer games especially co-ed soccer games. If I had made the opposite decision a half second earlier it could of been my left leg. Instead it was Patti's poor leg. I had enough experience to know when a guy is going for the offensive rocket shot on goal or the defensive rocket clear out. My foot/ankle has unfortunately been in the wrong place at the wrong time more than once. One incidence was a guy shooting on goal during an indoor game. His kick left a 3 1/2 inch diameter bruise that took over a year to heal. I thought for sure it was fractured at the time. In November of the following year, you could still see the discoloration. Needless to say there was also a calcium build-up on the bone that remained for 2 years. Another incidence involved a guy clearing out a ball. My ankle was about a 1/4 inch from the ball. So as he kicked the ball....the ball hit my ankle....and my ankle popped. Thank goodness the pop was ligament related and not bone breaking related. I will take a sprained ankle any day compared to a broken leg. All this brought me to 6/3/08...at that moment, a decision of whether to block the shot or not was quickly made. I thought about the possible outcome and his actual chance to score (small goal for a 6 vs 6 game). At that moment, I decided not to plant my foot in front of the ball. I was going to let him have his chance. BUT as he took the shot Patti planted her foot there to block it. I had no idea she was back on defense right behind me. It resulted in an instant break of the right leg (tibia and fibula). A break that doctors associate with car crashes. To spare you nasty details lets just say after Kelli and I got her to the hospital it was realized that she needed surgery. BTW, for complicated reasons her health insurance had expired 2 days prior...when it rains it pours... Thankfully her friends stepped up and we all made a generous donation towards her surgery.

Depression Lurks In The Dark

For months, my mind has been slowing regressing into the darkness. Situations are bothering me more and more. Urges to throw shoes away. Urges to wash my children. Urges to sleep. Urges to eat. Urges to hide. I need to see my psychiatrist. I hope there is a fix for this. I need a turn-up pronto.

Past Stories: T-Ball and Keven

Note: Written in past tense - January 2008.

Yesterday we signed Keven up for T-Ball. Not something I was entirely looking forward to due to the amount of dirt it involves ... the sliding, the dust, the dirty pants, the dirty hat, the dirty shirt, the dirty shoes, the dirty Keven. Breathe in - Breathe out. Repeat. I need to remember Keven needs to be a kid, it will make him happy. What is 3 months of mental hell anyway compared to my son's happiness? Just ask Steve. I am completely terrific to live with ... there is no where else he would rather be. And for the BIG NEWS - Kindergarten Registration was completed today. He will have to focus on learning in school and at home. Homework will be the best part of our night. Start your homework, please. I don't want to mom. Keven, please do your homework. But moooom, I'm tired. Keven, kindergartners need to do their homework so the teacher knows how smart they are. (tears are forming) But, mom ... I can't do it, I'm sweaty mom, I have a headdick. Apparently, doing anything academic wise causes him to be sick. Great times are definitely going to be had by all ...

As of today, Keven is focusing on swimming and soccer not baseball. Darn it. And we are improving on the homework situation. Now he only has a sweating problem. Apparently thinking is a physical activity.

Living Vicariously Through Adoption Stories

From the time I was a 12 or so, I can remember wanting to help unfortunate people, parentless children, and third world countries. I dreamed about helping them to experience happiness through simple everyday things I can and do take for granted. Even as a child, I could sense that life is too short to take for granted. At 12, I cried knowing that my parents would die. That with all the years ahead of me, it would never seem like enough. That it would pass me by in a blink of an eye. And now, I am here at 32 with my own children knowing that the next 20 years will be as short as the last 20.

Wanting to provide a better life for children consumes my life. I can waste hours reading family blogs that chronicle their journey through adoption. As I read the blogs, I envy their choice to take a road less travelled in terms of building a family. By reading the words, I feel the happiness they feel as they meet their child for the first time by picture and in person. Holding them. Kissing them. Smelling them. Wrapping yourself around them to embrace all that is them. Heart. Mind. And Soul. And since I can not decide, a perfect option would be a 4 year old and a 11-14 year old. A child needs a chance at a better life. A child yearns for parents to love them unconditionally. A child wants a home. A child wants to be embraced with love from a mom and dad.

Of course, I truly believe my OCD will effect my ability of being a good mom to more kiddos. Therefore, I love reading about the happiness of other adoptive families.

Determined to Succeed ... Isabel

Again, we hit a phase of determination. At about 14 months, she was determined to put her shoes on by herself. Two hours later she let me help her but not for a lack of trying. At 19 months, it was the pajama pants that was causing the stubborness. She had to be the one who got her pants on ... frustrated she could't do it and frustrated because I tried to help. It was a lose-lose situation if you ask me...

Fast forward to the present...she is still that same cute, adorable, sassy, stubborn, and loving little angle. She can rationalize anything she wants to do with somewhat logical thinking for a 4 1/2 year old. It is amazing what she comes up with in order to explain her actions even if we say no.

Past Stories: Isabel's Words at 21 months

I miss all the cuteness that comes with a toddler. So I decided to reminisce about all the words and phrases she was saying at approximately 22 months. All I had to do was search through my collection of pictures, schoolwork, and notes safely stored in the cabinet patiently waiting to be entered into a scrapbook. Of course, I may not get to it until the little hoodlums are like 19, 12 and 9.

Words:
1. da da (daddy)
2. na na (grandma and sometime used for mommy)
3. ish (fish)
4. ba bye
5. mahr (more)
6. mai da da (my daddy)
7. ba ba (bottle)
8. sho (shoe)
9. bratha (brother)
10. oggie (doggie)
11. wuff wuff
12. hah hah (hot hot - usually in a whisper)
13. col (cold)
14. boh (bowl)
15. dat (that)
16. tis (this)
17. cah (car)
18. pa pa (grandpa)
19. haa (hat)
20. bay- ee (blankie)
21. ha-o (hello)
22. saca (soccer)
23. chacla (chocolate)

Phrases:
1. No Autin
2. Hi Autin
3. My bla bla (blanket)
4. Lets go
5. Let go
6. Go get it
7. Sit down
8. Dada, lay down
9. Close it
10. No, dipa (diaper)
11. Mama, sit down

Learning to Sleep, Again!

Ahh...the regeneration of energy that sleep brings when it is done right. As a child, I could sleep anywhere and through anything, as is, the Tv. Sleeping is pure bliss for me especially with my freaking OCDatic (my new word) mind. Sleeping gives my mind a break (aka "a vacation from my internal hell). At times i need to get away from myself.

Ever since I had Keven sleeping a full night is a rare occurrence. Since Jan 1 2011, I have slept a full night around 8 times in which the last 3 have been consecutive. It normally is 2-4 hours at a time. Just as my dad has done for years, I get up to use the computer, watch Tv or eat. So of course my days are exhausting, frustrating, and stressful. How can they not be with 2 kiddos? I was getting to the point of asking my doc for sleeping pills. However there was a simple answer I refused to except for a long time....getting rid of my security blanket (ok ok shutting the stupid tv off). As long as I can remember, I hated laying awake in a dark room with me, myself and I.

But now, a good happy day depends on blissful sleep

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - Star Goalie

Who needed two weeks off with a sprained ankle when two days would do...not me! About three years ago, I was a GOALIE in the making. Diving here, diving there. Blocks the two shots. I'm in the zone. All one-on-ones are shut down. Nothing I could do about the crossing back post shots - obviously too short. Despite the 5 to 1 loss, we the team of 8 held our own against the team of 11 plus subs. I would not have made it as a field player that is for sure. Running caused pain. But goalie seemed to work. All is good when hobbling works here and there during the game. This will definitely be stored as a great Sunday morning memory.

Paxil - My Saving Grace

Paxil seems to relieve my depression, obsessions and compulsions just a bit. I feel more relaxed and sane. Not so overwhelmed with sadness, stress, anxiety and doubt. It is still with me but I do not feel like I am on a cliff edge holding on for dear life trying not to fall into a panic attack.

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - Isabel No Longer Speaks Spanish...But we do???

Disclaimer: Writing in present tense over 3 years ago. In the van, going home from grandma's... Mommy: "Keven, how come Isabel won't say mama". Keven (5): "Because mom, Isabel doesn't speak Spanish". A few months earlier, Isabel was babbling away and I told Kev, "Talk to her Keven...your sister is talking to you." His reply, "But mom, I don't know how to speak Spanish."

My Aunt Cindy Is Comin' To Town

With my Ashlyn, Aunt Carol, Aunt Chris and Uncle Gene. I am beyond excited. Hopefully we will have time to finish decorating one of my family room. She is an excellent interior designer with impeccable taste. Despite her mere hobby as an interior designer, I believe she would have had a successful business if she needed to work. In January of 2009, she came for a 4-day visit. Even though it was not a relaxful vacation, it was a fun and productive vacation. Let's be clear...it was her idea. And I love her for it. We spent 3 full days doing hard work. Painting. Shopping. And house decorating. With my aunt's talents, my new house became a home.

Happy Valentine's Day, Babe

Happy Valentine's Day to my awesome and loving husband. I am definitely a lucky girl. Some atta boys are due in honor of my valentine.
*Great father to the kids - makes them laugh everyday
*Cooks dinner most of the time
*Shares in the household duties
*Works on the house
*Gives hugs and kisses
*Spend family time with us
*Plays soccer with me for quality time
*Lets me sleep in sometimes
*Can be social with anyone
*Has done great keepin' the weight off by maintaining our healthier lifestyle

Thank you, Steve for our great life. Many more years to come. I love you.

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - Dumbfounded

Disclaimer: Writing in present tense 2 years ago.

Dumbfounded by the genius and dumbfounded by the lack of genius a kid can exude on a daily basis. There needs to be a prerequisite question that can be asked to figure which identity is in present. Over a month ago, it appeared Keven's shoes should have been feeling a bit snug. So we had ourselves a conversation...

Mom: "Keven, do your shoes fit?"
Keven: "Yeah"
Mom: "Tell me when your toe starts touching the front."
Keven: "Why?"
Mom: "So I will buy you new ones that fit better. If your toe touches the front it means your shoes are too small."
Keven: "Ok"
Mom: "Are your shoes too small?"
Keven: "No"
Mom: "Will you tell me when they are too small?"
Keven: "Yeah"

so time passes.....and passes....and passes

Yesterday I decided to let him wear a new pair of Vans. Size 13 1/2. And what are his initial words ...... "Wow, Mom! Now my toe doesn't hurt." Me. Speechless, scratching my head, and chuckling.

However, he does know that blood keeps you strong and healthy. It also helps you grow big and tall. All this according to his blood story he told me in the car. Hmm. He. Learned. That. Somewhere. But where?

Lingering D

Still feeling lost. Inadequate. Helpless. Wanting. Desperate. Tired. Scared. Unhappy. I want to feel secure and safe; financially and emotionally. Not just for me but for my parents. My husband. My kids. And the other people in the world that deserve to be better off in some way. I want to make people happy by providing one wish from their wish list. I want to be a giver but that feels impossible when you feel like you are barely treading water.

Don't get me wrong I have moments when I look at my kids and feel like the luckiest person in the world but it never lasts. It is a feeling that comes and goes quicker than the wind. Its there around me but unobtainable. I never can hold on to it long enough to enjoy my family. Change needs to happen...only time will tell.

Growing Out the Hair...Again!

You think I would learn but every 2-3 years I do the do' short. Never again was uttered back in February of 2008 after I did the inverted bob (aka A-line do'). It took no more than 10 minutes to make it look rather good and stylish. I completely believed that the A-line would be my new look for a year or two. Yeah...I was way off the mark on that one as usual. When I go short I always wind up hating it in a week or so because I feel self-conscious about my wide round face. It is not a good look for me. But being the compulsive person I am leads to things being done quickly without second thoughts. When I want change, change needs to happen today not tomorrow. So back in October of 2010 when the short hair idea popped up like a Jack-in-the-Box, without thought, I jumped like a jackass into the hairdresser chair...twice. The second time to make it shorter. What a horrible idea, I hated it from the beginning. So here we are in the midst of the growing out phase. I will let you know when I feel content.

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - Losing Teeth Is A Family Affair...

Disclaimer: Writing in present tense about 1 1/2 years ago.

As Keven's parents, we feel the need to help our child with any obstacle. His left top tooth had been loose for months. Since the tooth behind it was cutting through, his baby tooth had been pushed down and out. Snaggletooth 2009. Thankfully due to a family friendly game of basketball, I helped loosen the tooth by accidentally passing a ball that hit him in the mouth. The next morning it then fell out while he chowed down on some cheerios.

After that incident, Keven accidentally hit Steve's knee with his mouth. After taking one look at it, I knew it was time to step up and pull it out. In one fluid motion, I pulled out his second tooth. As he walked away, I celebrated with "Yes! I pulled my first tooth. That wasn't mine." In that split second, Keven started crying saying it hurt. Talk about a delayed reaction. The only reason he started crying was because I scared him. Kids sure know how to be dramatic.

I can't wait for the other 2 loose teeth to fall out. How will the story unfold...

Signs of Kinder Readiness

Let's just say I was NOT ready to register Isabel for Kindergarten today. Isabel will be entering Kindergarten 6 months earlier than Keven due to their birthdays. Even though Isabel is beginning to read, yearning to do homework, she is still in that 4 year old world sometimes. You know when the mind veers to the left and then veers to the right. Or one second she is a genius and the next second sheeeee isnot. Plus she is my baby girl...my last baby. With Keven it was much easier because I had Isabel.

My thoughts about Keven were so different in February prior to school starting that August.

Lo' and behold, Keven wanted to go to school yesterday and today. Plus he wanted to go on Friday and Saturday. He is also doing some homework during the week without the tantrums. I am so happy to finally see the eagerness.

And then there is my raging obsessive compulsive disorder at a time like this...

My anxiety. My stress. My worry. Getting them there continually M-F is going to be harder on me than them. One big uncontrolled environment. Obsessions come on in to the freaking mind of wonder, leading me to the the hell bound party of fun. Who sat in the desk last year? Who sat in the desk the previous 20 years? Is that good dirt or bad dirt? What jobs do the other parents have? Are they going to step on something bad? Will they be safe? Will someone kidnap them? Will they be happy? At any time during the school day will they have to pass a dumpster? Where did those dirt tracks come from? And so on.

Uhh...Is there a cure yet?

Past Stories: Rewind Friday - Isabel Is Potty-Trained....Yeah-Hooey!

In early August of 2009, Potty training was not going smoothly...

My little darling knew when she has to go. But instead of heading to a toilet, she decided to hide while doing her business. Talk about driving me crazy. Her attempt to keep me from getting frustrated despite her wrong-doing was to sing to me Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. According to her, it made me happy. She is a clever little thing.

Miss Elle finally conceded to the potty-training war in mid August. Victory was OURS (her loving parents). But again she surprised us by taking it a step farther. She decided to forgo all diapers...day AND night.

Daily Face Routine and Tint Moisturizer - Check

Title says it all ... This year, I finally spent my money on things that will benefit me for years to come not just instant gratification things like clothes that I may or may not like in a season/year. Curiosity about the lightening of the sun spots is killing me. How good will it work? Do I see improvement or not? I can't tell. When do results usually appear? How dark was that spot before? However, my tint moisturizer is a blessing in disguise. It is fantastic. My face has a more even complexion - not so rosy on the nose and around the nose. But better yet, after a week, NO NEW zit breakouts. I am in cosmetic heaven.

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - FIRST GRADE

Disclaimer: Writing in present tense about 1 1/2 years ago.

Kev,

First of all, I am so proud of your ability to take new things in stride. Your social and outgoing personality will serve you well in life. While other kids were nervous about the new school year and/or being at a new school, you were as cool as ever. Relaxed. Happy. Outgoing. And Ready. As your mom, I am looking forward to the change that comes with growing up. First grade is a big year. I promise to help you along the way. I suspect you will be reading chapter books and writing paragraphs with 4-5 sentences.

Love, Mom

Happy Birthday, Steve

This year, I wish you a happy birthday with all my love. I am truly a lucky lady to have you as a husband. You really do know how to love your family.

Thank you so much for being my LOVING HUSBAND. My OCD antics can be stressful at times but you handle it with such patience and discipline (on occasion). At least, we will have many many hysterical stories to keep us entertained for years. Falling into your arms for hugs and snuggles make me feel so happy and safe. I love you.

You are my partner in crime. My partner in parenthood. Thank you for being such an incredible dad to the kids. I hope to see our life in a more upbeat way. Not that I am expecting to hear a catchy, move to the beat type of song in my head every single day...

Cheers! To our life my sweet and loving babe...

Your birthday two years ago...not pretty

Yes...I got the "Worse Wife of the Year" award. I may have forgotten your birthday by accident but just know I did remember it was coming the whole week before. You know me, sometimes the important things are left out of my overloaded head when crazy ocd thoughts, moving chores, kid schedules, work items, and absolute trivial information is crammed in there. I definitely had to make it up to you.

Here is to hoping it never happens again...

(note: this helped me but not him, at least i was not the only one who forgot his birthday. so did the rest of the extended family. this helped my guilt about 0.1%...)

Past Stories: Rewind Monday - Keven's Travel Plans

About 3 years ago....

One night on the way to indoor, Keven thought of a great way to visit Hawaii.

Keven: "Mom, I know how we can get to Hawaii."
Me: "You, do? How?"
Keven: "We can take that Hawaii bus. See? That Hawaii bus will take us to Hawaii?"

The bus in question was white and had green palm trees on it. It looked like a senior citizen bus. Over the years, wisdom came with age and Keven ;earned the logistics of traveling over oceans...so I am sure we now can take a plane or boat.

Crossword Puzzles Are One Way To A Happy Marriage

Steve may be older than me and I may dwell on the fact that we will not technically spend our golden years together but I am happy knowing that we will make up a significant amount of time. Imagine our life...

Carpooling together. Working together. Eating lunch together. Playing soccer together. Taking our RDO together.

There is never too much of a good thing in my mind. waah...hah...hah..hah...

Yes, I was kidding. There are times we need to get away from one another. Or else...something along the lines of cussing, strangling, and beating one another may occur.

And yes I know you are trying to figure out where crossword puzzles come in...well...without the puzzles, our talking could turn into a fight if we are already in a bad or stressful mood.

Crossword puzzles allow us to have a relaxed and enjoyable lunch...

And now I am off to enjoy my lunch date with my husband.